Fart is an art

Out of a fart he made Great Art
It was no ordinary fart no!
It was straight from the heart, that
Fart
It had lain too long in the dark
Now was it’s time to start
To make its bid for freedom… and for stardom.

It flew like a dart that fart from the
heart
Like an arrow strung from Cupids
bow
Little did it know how luminous it’d
glow
Becoming one of the Greats in the
Farting Canon.

It was probably the greatest fart poem ever written
In my own humble opinion
It was very daring and it smelt of
onion.

It inflated like a balloon, blew up like
a great glass bubble
Then it popped and headed off
toward England
Flying further afield than any fart
had ever flown
It touched people’s hearts, bewitched every nation
Resounded around the world
Yea! was heard in every Kingdom.

It flew long, it rounded the Horn
Like a Lark, that fart, it soared and
sung
It was no boring old farts
It was far fartier and fruiter than that
It was a King of Farts
Way above the fartiest of farters and
all the farting Arthurs
It was the real King Arthur
The King Arthur of all farts and
Farters.

A real Belter was that fart that came
from the heart
That had all the Angels singing in
their cloisters,
A real work of Art just like Mozart
Or remember… remember your
Shakespeare
“Hark! A fart, a fart! Whereforth art ?
Thou fart”
It played its part, that fart, yea! it
wielded its Excalibur.

O! there’s nothing I’d rather do than lie here blowing sweet bubbles next
to you
You! on your little flutey flute flute and Me! on my big Bass Trombone.

Natures Washing Machine

In clouds of grey rain
The street roared Stripping itself
It’s bones showing through
Longing A new display

Poetry oww poetry

Poetry oww poetry;
My voice,my vent.
Poetry oww poetry;
That talk,that breath.
Poetry oww poetry, how you make them bend.
Poetry oww poetry,
It shall be you till the end.

Albert Einstein

“Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.” – Albert Einstein

Jean-Luc Godard

“To be or not to be. That’s not really a question.” – Jean-Luc Godard

Mark Twain

“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” – Mark Twain

Benjamin Disraeli

“As for our majority… one is enough.” – Benjamin Disraeli

Douglas Adams

“I don’t believe it. Prove it to me and I still won’t believe it.” – Douglas Adams

Cheap Toilet Paper #Musing

Your attitude
is like cheap toilet
paper
Do I really need
to explain greater?

My First Musical.ly Video #Poetry #Video

Original Shot

Follow Me On Musical.ly

Check out this musical.ly made by @vishaldutia: https://www.musical.ly/v/MzY0NTE2NTQ0OTY2ODUyNDQ2MDAwMTQz.html?user_id=6520509000507724800&social=link. Get the app and follow me!

I might be a pervert

I think I might be a pervert 🤔

I mean, a mere bite of her lip,
stroke of the hair
or flick of
her hip
sends fire around my body
criminalises my mind
and throws me outside,
to look pressed
nose against
the glass,
breath blurring up
the window,
and my view of her ass.

Yep,
I think I might be a pervert.

Aren’t you?
I mean when it’s hot,
don’t you get thirsty
from
sitting beside
the fountain?
Course you do,
we’re all perverts,
even those baldy
monks up on some
breast-like mountain.

Soda Gummy Candies

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INGREDIENTS

• 2 Cups of each of your favourite soda: cream soda, orange creamsicle, black cherry

• 1 envelope (1 tbsp) of gelatine for each flavour of soda

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INSTRUCTIONS

1. Begin by reducing one flavour of soda at a time in a saucepan over medium heat. You’ll need the liquid to reduce by half. Once reduced, remove from heat and pour into a small bowl.
2. Sprinkle the gelatine over the hot soda and stir to melt through. Place the soda in a container with a pour spout and gently pour into the silicon mould of you choice. Let set completely in the fridge.

Cursing never made more sense. #Funny

FUCK.
Forget. unreasonable. cravings. knockout
SHIT.
Suck. his. intimate. treasure.
BITCH.
Because. it. truthfully. causes.  hurt.
DAMN.
Dont. admit. meaningless. nothings.
MOTHER FUCKER.
Most. of. the. happiness. ends. roughly. Forget. undesirable. creatures. emitting. regret.
DUMBASS.
Dont. undermine. morals. before. assessing. serious. situations.
HELL.
Handle. emotional. love. loss

– George Carlin – #Quotes

​“The planet is fine. The people are fucked.”

Remove the temptation to settle for anything short of what you deserve. – Lorii Myers #Quotes

Remove the temptation to settle for anything short of what you deserve. – Lorii Myers

You gotta know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em, know when to walk away, know when to run – Kenny Rogers #Quotes

You gotta know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em, know when to walk away, know when to run – Kenny Rogers

It’s important to just kind of get away from your sport until you miss it. – Misty May-Treanor #Quotes

It’s important to just kind of get away from your sport until you miss it. – Misty May-Treanor

You only have to do a very few things right in your life so long as you don’t do too many things wrong. – Warren Buffett #Quotes

You only have to do a very few things right in your life so long as you don’t do too many things wrong. – Warren Buffett

One night she told me to put out the garbage. I told her you cooked it, you take it out. – Rodney Dangerfield #Quotes

One night she told me to put out the garbage. I told her you cooked it, you take it out. – Rodney Dangerfield

Love seeks one thing only the good of the one loved. It leaves all the other secondary effects to take care of themselves. Love, therefore, is its own reward. – Thomas Merton #Quotes

Love seeks one thing only the good of the one loved. It leaves all the other secondary effects to take care of themselves. Love, therefore, is its own reward. – Thomas Merton

When I judge art, I take my painting and put it next to a God made object like a tree or flower. If it clashes, it is not art. – Paul Cezanne #Quotes

When I judge art, I take my painting and put it next to a God made object like a tree or flower. If it clashes, it is not art. – Paul Cezanne

I meet them in this stadium, strangers at opposing desks until I wave my red flag. – Marina Leigh Duff #Quotes

I meet them in this stadium, strangers at opposing desks until I wave my red flag. – Marina Leigh Duff

I meet them in this stadium, strangers at opposing desks until I wave my red flag. – Marina Leigh Duff #Quotes

I meet them in this stadium, strangers at opposing desks until I wave my red flag. – Marina Leigh Duff

I meet them in this stadium, strangers at opposing desks until I wave my red flag. – Marina Leigh Duff #Quotes

I meet them in this stadium, strangers at opposing desks until I wave my red flag. – Marina Leigh Duff

I meet them in this stadium, strangers at opposing desks until I wave my red flag. – Marina Leigh Duff #Quotes

I meet them in this stadium, strangers at opposing desks until I wave my red flag. – Marina Leigh Duff

I meet them in this stadium, strangers at opposing desks until I wave my red flag. – Marina Leigh Duff #Quotes

I meet them in this stadium, strangers at opposing desks until I wave my red flag. – Marina Leigh Duff

When it comes to winning, you need the skill and the will. – Frank Tyger #Quotes

When it comes to winning, you need the skill and the will. – Frank Tyger

It is a fine thing to have ability, but the ability to discover ability in others is the true test. – Lou Holtz #Quotes

It is a fine thing to have ability, but the ability to discover ability in others is the true test. – Lou Holtz

It is a fine thing to have ability, but the ability to discover ability in others is the true test. – Lou Holtz #Quotes

It is a fine thing to have ability, but the ability to discover ability in others is the true test. – Lou Holtz

It is a fine thing to have ability, but the ability to discover ability in others is the true test. – Lou Holtz #Quotes

It is a fine thing to have ability, but the ability to discover ability in others is the true test. – Lou Holtz

It is a fine thing to have ability, but the ability to discover ability in others is the true test. – Lou Holtz #Quotes

It is a fine thing to have ability, but the ability to discover ability in others is the true test. – Lou Holtz

Growing up as an athlete, I started skating very young. My parents didn’t know anything about the sport, so they went with the flow. I had two great coaches who gave great advice and gave guidelines for my parents. My parents let the coaches dictate what was going on on the ice. – Kristi Yamaguchi #Quotes

Growing up as an athlete, I started skating very young. My parents didn’t know anything about the sport, so they went with the flow. I had two great coaches who gave great advice and gave guidelines for my parents. My parents let the coaches dictate what was going on on the ice. – Kristi Yamaguchi

Relationships are not where we go to have fun. Relationships are where we go to heal and where we go to learn. And who you’re going to attract is the person that’s going to bring to the forefront the thing you need to learn or heal or the thing that’s going to help you grow the most. – Iyanla Vanzant #Quotes

Relationships are not where we go to have fun. Relationships are where we go to heal and where we go to learn. And who you’re going to attract is the person that’s going to bring to the forefront the thing you need to learn or heal or the thing that’s going to help you grow the most. – Iyanla Vanzant

Relationships are not where we go to have fun. Relationships are where we go to heal and where we go to learn. And who you’re going to attract is the person that’s going to bring to the forefront the thing you need to learn or heal or the thing that’s going to help you grow the most. – Iyanla Vanzant #Quotes

Relationships are not where we go to have fun. Relationships are where we go to heal and where we go to learn. And who you’re going to attract is the person that’s going to bring to the forefront the thing you need to learn or heal or the thing that’s going to help you grow the most. – Iyanla Vanzant

You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat. – Albert Einstein #Quotes

You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat. – Albert Einstein

We lose ourselves in the things we love. We find ourselves there, too. – Dale Patridge #Quotes

We lose ourselves in the things we love. We find ourselves there, too. – Dale Patridge

We lose ourselves in the things we love. We find ourselves there, too. – Dale Patridge #Quotes

We lose ourselves in the things we love. We find ourselves there, too. – Dale Patridge

Without art, the crudeness of reality would make the world unbearable. – George Bernard Shaw #Quotes

Without art, the crudeness of reality would make the world unbearable. – George Bernard Shaw

The worst thing a kid can say about homework is that it is too hard. The worst thing a kid can say about a game is it’s too easy. – Henry Jenkins #Quotes

The worst thing a kid can say about homework is that it is too hard. The worst thing a kid can say about a game is it’s too easy. – Henry Jenkins

The worst thing a kid can say about homework is that it is too hard. The worst thing a kid can say about a game is it’s too easy. – Henry Jenkins #Quotes

The worst thing a kid can say about homework is that it is too hard. The worst thing a kid can say about a game is it’s too easy. – Henry Jenkins