Paranoid

Today
Was one of those days
Where I couldn’t
Stop looking
Over my shoulders
Expecting to see you
Close to me
Waiting for me to do something
To push you away like before
Freeze when you started to
Do what you did
I’ve let the paranoia
Sink in
Its been controlling me
Like you had been
I wasn’t perfect…
That terrible feeling I had gotten the night of the storm
How I cried myself to sleep beside my best friend
Because that was the first time
The first red flag
I couldn’t getaway
I tried so hard
But couldn’t
And so I gave up
That’s when the voices started to reappear
I hadn’t heard them in two years
After I had stopped talking to you
And then…
I had that feeling
Once again…
And I couldn’t stop you
But I never gave up
I pushed you away
I didn’t speak
except for once or twice
I know I said no at least once
Or maybe I didn’t
Because they took over to try
She wanted to protect me
So she did
After I was choked
She was the one who said something
When you did what you did
I couldn’t stop her from telling them
She was so angry
Because it wasn’t just me
That you hurt
So now
The paranoia has set in
And I’m so scared
Because you know
Where I live
Where I go on the weekends…
Who I hang out with…
But even though you can’t touch me…
It still makes me
Paranoid

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